Obedience

I knew going into this support raising process that I would learn a lot. I knew it would be a growing experience. I knew it would be hard. I knew it would be rewarding. I did not realize how exhausting it would be.

I find myself sitting on my couch with my list on the ottoman in front of me. Then I usually end up with my head in my hands and I pray for motivation to start making phone calls. There are other times where it isn’t as hard to get that motivation and when that is the case, I often forget to spend time in prayer before I call. Going into this, I knew I had to rely on God, but as the weeks have come and gone, I’m getting more comfortable, which means I tend to rely more on myself than God.

I realized this week that making phone calls is me being obedient to God. As I wrote in my letter, I feel I am called to raise my own support. In order to do that, I send out letters and make follow up phone calls. In order for me to be obedient to God, I have to do what He’s told me to do.

I don’t want this to sound like I do not like having to talk to people (especially if I’ve already contacted you). Many of these conversations are great. Some are people I know and keep up with. Others I don’t know, or I know but don’t keep up with. Some are able to support me and some are not. None of those things are factors of good conversations vs. not as good conversations. I’ve had good ones with all types of people. It is just hard to do this sometimes.

I’ve mentioned that the hardest thing about this is getting a hold of people. Sometimes I enjoy being able to leave a message because that puts the ball in their court for a little bit. If I’ve tried to get in touch with my contact list I can relax for a little bit. It gives them an opportunity to respond. But then after about a day or two, they are still on my list so I try to follow up again. I get so excited when someone responds back by phone, email, or anything!

As far as my progress is concerned, I feel like I am making some. I am at 44% of my goal, so that is exciting, but I realize there is more work to do! It has been a gradual thing, which is nice because it means that I get a mix of answers. I don’t feel like I am in a slump where all I hear is “no.”

Please continue to pray for me as I continue this process. I still have a few more weeks left!