Frustration + Stress = Fragile emotional state

Is it Friday yet?

I have been asking myself this question a lot this week. It's not that is has been a particularly bad week, I am just ready for Friday- for a day off to catch up on lots of things. I started a list this morning of possible things I could do, now I need to prioritize and get some done this weekend.

Last weekend was the youth retreat. It was a lot of fun to get away, but I came back exhausted. Who schedules a youth retreat the same weekend as spring forward Sunday? NOT SMART! I got back Sunday night and didn't even go upstairs. I decided I'd rather take my chances with the air mattress downstairs that leaks than go upstairs to the good one and have to put the sheets back on and everything. I was asleep by 9:30.
I survived driving in Manhattan both times this weekend when we picked up and dropped off the cars. I did have a close call with a delivery guy on a bike who was riding the wrong way and came out of nowhere from behind a car. I got real nervous. It was so great to drive! I want to drive more.

This week we have had a college mission team helping out. They are from upstate NY from a couple different colleges. It has been really nice to have them helping out. I feel like I can relax a little, especially during after school because I have so many other adults around to supervise. Tuesday I had a particularly difficult day. I had one first grade boy who was trying to leave during the program that I sat with and occasionally held back from escaping. Eventually he settled down and ended up getting his work done with a good attitude. Later on things were more difficult at the end, when one of my first grade boys got upset. With this boy, when he gets upset, it is like a switch that goes off. You can see it almost immediately and once it goes off, you can't switch it back. We were going to the park and he lost some free time. He did not want to follow my instructions and started to walk away. He was walking into an enclosed area where I could still see him, so it was fine. Then he left that area and went to an area that wasn't as safe. I followed him and asked him to come back and he wouldn't listen. He wouldn't talk to me and kept trying to get away. I eventually situated myself behind him so that I was moving him with my legs as I walked towards the rest of the group. We sat down on a bench and I tried to talk to him. I was holding onto him and he was fighting to get away. After a few minutes of screaming, kicking, and fighting, I let him go to see if he would run. He just walked over to a tree not too far away, so I let him stay there for awhile. He then decides he wants to go back to where he was, so I follow and we went at it for Round 2. Same thing, but with screaming. This time it is getting close to time to go, so I had this debate in my head on whether I should pick him up and take him over there or not. I decided that even though the general rule is to not pick a kid up, that I needed to pick him up so I could gather up the rest of the kids to go. I sent a teenager to go get the mom to pick up her kids and sent the rest home. At this point I wasn't too upset or frustrated. I felt like I stayed calm and handled the situation as best I could. We get back to Graffiti and I recruited Andrew's help while we were waiting on the mom. We had a meeting with the mom and both of her kids who are in my program. It didn't take long before all the stress from the day that had built up to start pouring out in the form of tears. For those counting, this is the second emotional breakdown in after school.

Today was a better day, but it wasn't without problems. After work, I get home to find a UPS notice on my mailbox. This was bad news. I got one on Monday, signed it, put it back and Tuesday morning when I left it was gone. Tuesday night I have another notice, so I take it with me this time. I sign it, and put it back on my box this morning. I get home tonight, expecting to have a box on the ground, but instead, I see 2 notices. One was the one I signed this morning, and the other is another one they put on this afternoon. I was so annoyed and frustrated. I get upstairs and get on the website to try and figure out what is going on. I call and talk to someone and they told me that it is the delivery person's discretion whether to leave a package even with the signature on the notice. He told me that since it was the final notice today and that it was past 7:00, that the package was already scanned to get shipped back to the sender. I turn into a disgruntled customer real quick and go off on him, asking what I am supposed to do when I sign for the package twice, since I am unavailable to receive it because I am at work all day long. AND, by the time I even got the final notice, it was already on some truck! Seriously?!? How was I supposed to know that I needed to call them before 7 to change my address or something, when I assumed it would be left because I signed the notice?!? AGGHHHH!!! I am getting worked up again. I get off the phone and want to scream. This package is the coat rack I ordered last week that I really would like to have so I have a place for my coats, so I can make room in my closet for other things that are lying all over my apartment and driving me crazy! So I get off the phone and let out a frustrated noise that wasn't enough, so I start crying to relieve all this frustration. I am telling myself how ridiculous I am but feeling a little relieved. For the record it was 6 tears or something, so I wasn't a complete wreck from a UPS package, but still.

Tomorrow is going to be a great day. I can't wait. And if it isn't, well then it will be FRIDAY!