Baggage

So I know I just posted yesterday, but I have had a lot of thoughts racing through my mind the past couple of hours. Since most of my blogs are fun and lighthearted, I feel like I should warn you that this isn't one of those.

Tonight we had the first women's small group bible study. For the first one I just wanted to do an introduction and let everyone get to know each other better. I started off by asking easy questions like what is your favorite food, movie, place to visit, etc. Then we all went around and shared what I called our "life story". I asked for everyone to share about their life, including where they grew up, their family, and experiences that shaped them into the person they are today. The first one that went was really short, but the rest of the group elaborated a lot more. They shared so many deep hurts and struggles from their lives. I have known most of these women for over a year and hardly scratched the surface into the details of their lives compared to tonight. I was so blown away and encouraged by how open they were. They have some similar experiences and they could all understand what each situation was like.

I also couldn't help compare my life story from theirs. Mine is a completely opposite story. I have only had a couple "rough experiences" in my life and they are so minor compared to what these women have been through. I feel so blessed to have had the life I was given and all that comes with it, but I also feel like it is unfair. I can't imagine how I would be today if I had to deal with traumatic experiences from my past like so many of these women have. They talked about baggage and how something can stay with you and continue to affect you. They talked about the financial struggles of raising a family with very little resources. So many have lost family members and been to countless funerals. I have been to 3, none of which were family members or close friends.

Tonight was really good for me to see how this neighborhood has such an impact on the people here. I hear stories of the struggles, but it was always at a distance. I had never been truly effected by those stories because I didn't know any of them personally. These women have come a long way from their past, but they are still struggling with it every day. I was able to get a taste of what their lives are like and all the baggage that comes with it.

Another strange question I have thought about is "Why am I here?" I mean, I know I have been called to serve here, but why would a suburbian white girl with such a charmed life, be called to move into what has been named "the worst neighborhood to raise kids" to work with people so different than her? What does my life story have to do with Mott Haven and the life stories of the people of this neighborhood? I don't want anyone to get the feeling I am having doubts about my calling, because it is just the opposite. It is just interesting to me to think about how I got here, because it is NOT at all what I had planned. I know that I have had (or not had) experiences for a reason and the experiences I have had have shaped me into the person I am, and God will use those to influence others. I also know that each of those women have had their experiences for another reason that God will use to influence others.

We ran over on time tonight, so I told them I would share my story next week. They all had kids to get in bed, so I knew they were ready to go, and I didn't want to rush through any details, so they can get my complete story, like I got theirs. I felt like this was a great start to launch our small groups and I am very excited about where this will go next!

Beautiful fall

I have been taking it easy the past few days. Thursday was another school holiday, so we didn't have after school program. We had a session for 8th graders on choosing a high school, and I did another test prep session, and that was about it. I came home on Thursday and cleaned a little bit. I was having the first guests of Apartment Ashley on Friday. Friday I stayed in my apartment all day watching Friends and catching up on laundry. Friday evening my guests arrived and invited me upstairs for dinner. I hung out with them for awhile and then went with them to the Top of the Rock. I had been before during the day and I definitely think it is better at night. I LOVE looking at the lights. The weather was also great. It could have been a little cooler, but it was still great. I continued to play tour guide and we walked around to Grand Central. We were out later than I have been out in awhile. I had a lot of fun though. It is so strange how I just met these people, but felt like I had known them for awhile by the end of the night.

Saturday was very similar to Friday. I actually never left my apartment on Saturday. I watched some AMAZING football and was only a little bit productive. Sunday we had church. We were invited to go to the Christian Missionary Alliance service later that day because they were having a special service to install the pastor of their church. It was a spanish speaking service, so that was different, but it was good. After church, we ended up playing a little kickball and football.

Today is Columbus Day, so once again, there was no school! This time I had the day off, so I went with a couple teenagers and Andrew to this place called Wave Hill. Wave Hill is a garden and landscape area in the Bronx that has a couple of historic houses on the property. Mark Twain and Theodore Roosevelt's family both lived there at one point. It has gorgeous trees, plants, and flowers. Afterwards we went down to 34th street for some shopping. I would like to note that the past two times I have been "shopping" I went with a group of guys and hardly looked at anything. It is not quite the shopping experience I enjoy. I must say though, that today I picked out a shirt that one of the teenagers really liked and ended up buying.

After shopping, I invited the guys over for dinner. I made fajitas and "strawberry yumminess" as Brittany calls it. I loved having people over! I just wish it was more convenient for people to visit!

I want to leave you with some of the beautiful sights I saw today!

It's Official

Alright, it is now officially fall. I know the calendar said it was fall a couple weeks ago, but it wasn't officially fall for me until this weekend. Saturday I received a long over due email with the recipe for pumpkin brownies. I went to the store and bought everything to make them. Side note- I thought cherries were expensive. I had to buy a little thing of cloves and nutmeg and THAT was expensive! My cloves were $10.50 and the nutmeg was $6 or so. I couldn't believe it. I got home and made pumpkin brownies and learned something about my oven. It is definitely too small to fit a jelly roll pan. I put the pan in the oven and tried to shut the door. It wasn't even close. I took it out and scraped the batter into a smaller pan with my hands because I couldn't reach to get a spoon. It was quite a mess. Everything turned out and I have been enjoying amazing pumpkin brownies all week long.

Saturday night I also introduced fall by dying my hair darker. It always gets lighter in the summer from the sun, so I like to go dark for the fall. I also enjoyed most of Saturday with my window open, taking advantage of beautiful fall weather!

Sunday I met two girls who are NYU students that live near Graffiti 2. They came to church and then I went to their apartment for lunch afterwards. It was good to meet new people and hang out. After that, I was headed home, but then got an invite to play kickball with some of the teenagers. This was the second week in a row where we have hung out after church and ended up playing a sport. Last week I had some rainboots at G2 that I changed into. This week, I thought about bringing clothes to change into but didn't. I am a sucker for hanging out, so of course I went along, regardless of the fact that I was wearing a shirt dress with leggings and loafers. We went to play kickball in St. Mary's and the closest thing to a kickball was a semi-flat basketball. It was fun for a couple kicks, then it started to hurt...BAD! Let me remind you that I was wearing loafer-like shoes, without socks or anything covering the top of my foot, or my ankle. By the end of the game I was kicking with my left foot and dealing with a blister on my right. I wasn't about to just quit though! Now I have a big bruise that covers the top of my foot and parts of my ankle. Note to self: Bring clothes and shoes to change into every Sunday!

This weekend I will have some guests staying with me. I don't know many details yet, but I know they will be here Friday and I will need to clean and get the apartment ready tomorrow and Friday.

Today I got my computer back. I took it to the apple store because there was a piece that chipped off where I rest my wrists. I have a protection plan, so it was covered, which was good. They also fixed the backlight that was flickering. I took it in on Saturday and had to leave it there for 3-5 days. It wasn't as hard as I thought it would be to be without a computer. I just didn't have the internet to entertain me when nothing was on tv.

Today I had two really good conversations with friends. I am not much of a phone person, but I really enjoyed both of those phone calls today. I always think to call people on Friday when I am off, but I usually put it off because most people are at work or in school. I enjoyed getting updates on their lives and telling them about what is going on with me also. So, if you haven't heard from me in awhile, give me a call! Especially on Fridays!

That is all for now, it is way past my bedtime!

October

First, here are some pictures from our private tour of The Lion King stage, WITH the star of the show.







Now for an update on the rest of my week...

This week was different. Tuesday and Wednesday was Rosh Hashanah so the kids were out of school, which means no after school. Tuesday was a cleaning day for the basement. It was a disaster area and had things that needed to be taken over to the storage unit. We worked on that most of the day and then had the last chapel service that night. We are now transitioning to small groups, and with church every Sunday, we wanted to start small group bible studies. Wednesday we played flag football with the teenagers. I had been excited about football for weeks! I had a lot of fun and probably got a little too into it. I was pretty hardcore and even took quite a hit. I scored a couple touchdowns too! I am definitely sore today and I think I am getting a bruise from when one of the teenagers tackled me. Today was back to after school, which completely threw me off.

Earlier this week I had a little scare. I have already mentioned the mosquitoes and how I kept getting bites on me. So I was still getting bites and I started to wonder if it was something besides mosquitoes. I did a little research and thought that I had bed bugs instead. I got scared and paranoid and didn't sleep well that night. I didn't want to even think about what to do about it and I just prayed they would go away if that is what it was. So far I think my prayers have been answered because I haven't found anymore bites on me.

It is now October and I am excited! Today it was pretty chilly outside which always makes me happy. October is also the month when basketball season starts. I am excited about the fall festival and dressing up for halloween.